vicious circle

There’s a pair of blue eyes staring at me from behind the curtains – the glass is reflecting the sunlight.

And I have a brother who’s always on the run, never looking back – so at times I feel like I am an only child.

I’ve got friends all right – but I wouldn’t even have half of them without the pretty face around my petty eyes.

I have this strange amount of wisdom that I never get to share – instead I give automatic answers to the questions I’m asked.

And I learnt my suffering might have been caused by the stuff that kills my dreams – fair enough, when I think about it.

But why did I waste all that time, knowing it wasn’t good enough – knowing I’m still looking out for better?
*Funny, how I still think about the same shit – without any sort of sentiment.

I’m listening to the words coming out of my mouth and I don’t believe them. Everything sounds just like a perfect calculation – but sometimes it’s hard to calculate without numbers, the solution will always be relative.
Predictable but relative.

But what would you do, if you had the answer in front of you?

you’d throw it away –
right next to hearts that stopped beating

you’d be running away –
right into dreams you once believed in

you’d be scared away –
right to the bones of your being

you’d just swallow the pain –
right the way you did it last season

Und der Teufelskreis schließt sich.

 

~Anne~

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