Youth

There’s a bitter sweet taste in my mouth
When I hear the words young and wild and free
I see teenagers losing control
They’re laughing loud and scream
I’m a part of them, I know that
But inside it feels a lot different.

Once I was like you
I didn’t have thoughts about neither future nor past
There was no time for that
with friends and drugs and CRASH

Something was taken from me
I didn’t know what it was for a very long time
I went looking for it but I couldn’t grasp anything alike

Ever since I feel alone
And singled out in a crowd
When they laugh it feels like I am the joke
When they complain it feels like I am the adult who did everything wrong

My soul aged but my body stayed young
My mind is working while my muscles are numb

It feels like I won’t ever be free again
Noone’s stopping me but myself
And I didn’t love me like that
So how could anyone else?

It’s a terrible thought
But my social skills are all gone
I put them somewhere
While I was trying to work out
some family life which has never been there
And then I forgot

I remember some faces
And I do it so well
But I lost all the traces
Which led me to them

I learned to love me like I am
Now
And I know you love me too
No doubt
I am thankful for everything I have
And all the choices I can make

Everybody lives alone
So it is for me
but maybe for a little while
You could be my company.

 

~Anne~

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